I don’t know many moms who are having the time of their lives in bed.
Parenthood is not sexy.
After wrestling with multiple children all day, cleaning up puke and getting everyone to bed, all anyone wants is a quick-to-the-point romp right before drifting off to sleep.
Even working moms who spend time taking care of themselves are exhausted, guilt-ridden and emotionally spent at the end of the day.
Sleep is probably sexier than any sexual act.
Wake up, woman! Just because you are a mom, it doesn’t mean you have to become a virgin.
By virgin, I mean that you suddenly give up your right to have those awe-inducing-life-affirming-sexual-experiences that you were made for.
Now, partners everywhere, let’s spend sometime thinking about how we can help to de-virginize this woman with proper romance, thoughtfulness and the utmost care.
How to give her what she wants the most?
First of all, by words, I mean those R-rated slip-off-the-tongue-luscious syllables that produce images that are simply too forbidden to speak out loud. These images will linger in the mind of an otherwise distraught mom, providing her day with humor, solace and a dose of anticipation.
Stop arguing with her about where the potty should be. Give her your best sexy wide-mouth-in-it-to-win-it smile. You know the one that made her fall in love with you in the first place. Yes, stop there. That’s the one. Now, stop talking and let her savor that.
Little domestic moments are made for those casual brushes of the hand, the elbow, and the knee. When there’s no time, foreplay can be interspersed into the mundane.
Don’t just ask her what you can help her with. Just do it. Yes, you heard me. There’s nothing sexier than a partner who does the heavy lifting. By heavy lifting, I mean daring to appease that massive tantrum, wipe the floor puke or spend three hours answering your toddler’s questions.
When the lights finally go out in your children’s room, don’t just migrate directly into the bedroom. How about giving a little first? Set the mood with a foot rub, a back rub or a nice bath. Turn on some soft music. Light some candles. Twirl her around in her yoga pants. Slow dance with her in the mess that is your living room.
When the time comes, she will be ready.
Go slow. Go fast. Tune into her speed. Take your time. Make it count. Make her sing.
She deserves this as much as you do.
You are her partner for life.
But it’s only one lifetime.
Parenthood is not an excuse to not enjoy everything life has to offer. This includes giving the woman in your life those awe-inducing-life-affirming-sexual-experiences that you both crave.
About the Author
Jun Wu is a Content Writer for Technology, AI, Data Science, Psychology, and Parenting. She has a background in programming and statistics. On her spare time, she writes poetry and blogs on her parenting website: wellplayedchild.com