You are so right to feel this way. It’s only human. you should mourn.. I think parents of typical children mourn too.. I mourned the fact that I can only have one child. I mourn the fact that I didn’t have a daughter.. I mourn the fact that my son’s turning out to be a completely different person than the child I imagined!
I know these don’t compare to your grief. Getting it out and speaking your truth will only help!